My midday rest was disturbed by loud knocks on my door. Being a researcher I stay alone and do not interact much with the people around. In order to focus much on the research, I limit the use of Whatsapp and other chat applications. My phone conversations are very less and mostly with my family members. At least once a day I update my social media status to relate to the world outside and to keep in touch with the friends I know and the friends I have never seen in my real life. I receive friend requests from strange people in facebook and I accept their request as a token of my gratitude for their concern for me. It is true that some of such random friend requests over facebook have made my life miserable. The truth I found in my life is that people are very much different in their identity in facebook and the identity in the real world outside. It is very easy to project an attractive face and personality in facebook and being a nasty person in real life situations. Whenever I feel inspired to write something on the cotemporary issues I update my facebook status. Even though I do not get much likes and shares I feel that many people are reading what I write and what I express. In a nutshell, the world offered by facebook gives me some free space to be myself and to express myself. It in a way affected my personal level relationship with some people where I need to confront some individual directly. As a result, people hardly come to my room to meet me and talk to me. If anyone wants something from me they generally message me on some chat applications like Whatsapp. Normally I do not like my midday rest to be disturbed. As I stay awake for a long time at night when there is perfect silence I need to sleep for sometime during day. I really got disturbed by the loud knock on the door and I resisted to get up and to open the door. As the knocks became louder I had to get up. After keeping the things in proper order I opened the room without revealing the discomfort outside.

There is a girl standing outside my room. I can not believe my own eyes. Am I hallucinating? Yes, there is someone out there. I have never seen this girl before. I went on closing and opening my eyes for sometime to verify that there is a girl standing in front of my room. She must be around twenty five years old. She is rather fair and beautiful. Her hair is flying in the gentle breeze outside. She is in a light blue saree which is worn rather carelessly. There is sweat on her face and blouse.  There is a rather pleasant smell made of her sweat and the perfume she uses. I stayed there without knowing what to do. She appears to be disturbed and in a hurry. She must have lost her money and belongings on the way and hence she must have come for some help from me. It will be difficult if she asks for some money from me as I am struggling to live with the meager amount I receive from the university. She looked deep into my eyes for a while. There I found some sort of determination. What must be her intention? As I was lost in the thoughts she uttered.

“I am Anamika.” She introduced herself.

Anamika means a person without a name. This name itself reveals something strange.

“What Can I do for you?” I asked.

“I have come to meet you, Jay Dee.” She said.

She spoke as if we knew each other for a long time.

“How do you know my name?” I asked.

“We are friends in the social media. I am there in your friends list. You may not know me as I do not press the like button for your posts. But I read each and every post you make on your facebook wall.” She said.

Some girls flirt with me late in the nights and send their nude pictures to sexually stimulate me. I took a selfie for the first time and uploaded in Facebook and one girl who is a friend of my friend fell in love with it. That girl disrupted many of my nights and life. But later I found that love in the Facebook is far away from the love in the real life. None of the flirting girls I encountered in the social media  were not ready to take up a committed relationship. What they all wanted was just fun and sexting. This girl must be someone like that. But I never got any text messages from this girl standing before me in Facebook messenger. Perhaps, she must be using a fake ID there.

“Okay, What can I do for you?” I asked.

“Jay Dee. I have no one. I think that you will give me shelter. That is why I have come.” She said.

I kept quiet.

“I know that you love me. I understood it from your Facebook posts. Each and every post of you speaks about your love for me. Your language is a metaphor of love. I am convinced that you love me. You will never reject me, I think. That is why I am here before you without giving any prior information.” She said.

“No, I do not love anyone like you. And you are a stranger to me. I am meeting you for the first time. I never encountered you even in Facebook.” I said.

“No Jay Dee. You truly love me. You cannot hide your love for me.” She said.

She was very much convinced.

“I am sure that I never chatted with a girl named Anamika. Do you have a fake profile in Facebook?”  I said.

“I constantly check your status updates. At least five to six times a day. Sometimes you post love poems with overflowing love for me and you delete them in a few minutes. You must be afraid of making our love public. That must be the reason you delete your works.” She said.

It is true that sometimes I delete some of my works within a few minutes. When I am really moved from within I update my status. I find that there is no point in opening my heart in a public platform where anyone can have access into my heart. She must have read some of that works.

“Why are you very much scared? Love presupposes some commitments and you have to take up those commitments. You cannot be a lover and a non-lover at the same time.” She said.

I just kept quiet.

“There is a contradiction in life. You say one thing and do something else. As far as I am concerned you are an opportunist. It is true that you love me. Can you reject this fact?” She said.

“No, I cannot.” I said.

“You love to be in comfort zone. Now you have to accept me and give me shelter. Let us have a life together.  I do not have anyone.” She said.

“Well. What about your parents, friends and relative?”  I asked.

“As far as I remember I do not have any parents or permanent friends. I was in a number of relationships before finding you in Facebook. Now you are mine.” She said.

Looks strange!  What shall I do now? I do not have income to accept her and give her shelter. My income from the university is very less and that is just sufficient for a single person. I cannot take up any responsibility now as I need to take care of my parents. These days, I am worried about the phone calls coming from home with the stories of misery and financial problems at home. It will be a huge financial burden if I accept her right now. I need to invest some time for her and that will have adverse impact on my future research in philosophy. It is true that I love her but I do not want to acknowledge it. I composed a lot of poems on my love for her and many of them found their resting place in the dust bin and a few reached my virtual world platform. How will I accept a girl who comes after a number of love relationships? What must have happened to her previous lovers?

“Why are you not speaking anything? Do not be hypocritical, at least for now.” She said.

“Well, you said that you were in a few relationships. Tell me something about them.” I asked.

“Yes, I went through a number of relationships and break ups. None of my lovers are alive now. Most of them have been killed by their own family members and religious groups for loving a girl do not belong to them. Some of them stopped loving me considering the danger in loving a girl like me. Such people love something else more than me. But I found that your love is true. It is true that you speak only a little but l love each and every word you speak. It is my decision that I want to live with you the rest of my life and that is why I have come to you today. I think that you are a just man as your name Joseph.” She said.

Joseph is a biblical name. There are two Josephs in Bible. The first one in the Old Testament where Joseph is tortured and sold by his own brothers and when his same brothers were going through difficult times and poverty the sold brother Joseph came and protected them. Joseph is a man who forgets and forgives. His love is unconditional. The second Joseph belongs to the New Testament who is the father of Jesus Christ. He was chosen to marry a lady called Mary who was found to be pregnant even before Joseph had any sexual relation to her. It was revealed to him in a dream that she got pregnant from God in the heaven. Joseph could not understand the logic behind a girl on earth becoming pregnant by a God who is in the heavens above. Being a just man Joseph did not want to humiliate her in public. The patriarchal society of Joseph was harsh towards girls who get pregnant before marriage. Joseph, the just, agreed to receive Mary in spite of all the doubts he had in mind concerning the character of Mary.

“I think that I can come inside your home.” She said.

 She looked into my eyes with hope.

“No, I cannot accept you. I do not want to accept you. I must have loved you online.  I must have sexted you online. I must have romanticized and idealized our love in Facebook. But in real life I do not want to accept you. I am concerned about my safety and future. My parents, my future…. Please go away from me.”

I closed the door immediately and collapsed to the bed.

I am sweating. Heart is beating in a strange rhythm. I drank one full bottle of water. I increased  the fan speed to the full. Is it all a bad dream I had? May be a bad dream I had in the mid day rest. Sometimes I sleep longer in the afternoon. I intend to sleep for one hour but it goes on and on.

I got up late in the evening and took the towel and soap to take bath. As I opened the door I found someone standing there. Yes, she is the same girl. She is standing at the same place.

By Jay Dee